Depeche Mode Forever

Judgement Day

2010-09-17T06:04:00.000-07:00

Earlier this week, Evil Twin faced the consequences of his crimes. It's been a day I've been anticipating for 18 months. A day where he would be made to "pay" for what he did. When the judgement came down, I realized I didn't feel any of the emotions I thought I would feel. Not Anger. Not Jubilation. Instead I experienced an emotion that took me by surprise...Closure. Funny how sometimes closure makes you feel Sadness right along with it. I am sad at the destruction one man can wreak through plain and simple bad decisions. I realized that one's actions can affect hundreds of lives. I feel sad for his ex-wife and her children. I feel sad for his victims, for their losses both monitarily and in some cases spiritually. I feel sad that some of them are having a hard time healing. But surprisingly, I also feel very sad for him. I now understand that he is neither good nor evil...simply human. And often, human beings make disasterous mistakes.
While the sadness remains, the hatred has "magically" evaporated. It is a HUGE step towards further healing and it feels so good!
I don't know what comes next as far as he is concerned. That's the nice thing about not being able to see too far into the future...if I were to know, I probably would refuse to move forward. Moving forward can be scary but that's what it's all about.

Back To Square One

2010-08-26T12:08:00.000-07:00

I hate square one. Square one feels like failure. In any good board game, square one means that somewhere along the line you messed up.
This morning, that's where I found myself. Defeated. How did I get here?
Last summer I could walk 4 miles in an hour. I felt strong, powerful...amazing.
This morning, I was grateful when, after only 15 minutes of easy aerobics, Mini-Me needed help with her hair. Sweating like a hog and breathing like a bulldog, I helped her with her coif and returned to the workout. It went pretty much like this until it was time to leave for school. It took me and hour and 45 minutes to complete the entire 60 minutes of the tape. Pathetic.
I get that if I want to feel strong and powerful and amazing, I have to start somewhere. I get it. It just makes me mad that I let it go in the first place.
Square one...
What a shitty place to be.

Here Kitty Kitty Kitty!

2010-08-20T07:14:00.000-07:00

Are you a cat-hater or a dog-preferrer? Believe it or not, there is a difference.

I'm a cat-lover...no surprise there. That doesn't mean I hate dogs...it simply means that I desire different qualities in a pet. I like cats because they aren't needy in any way, shape or form. They don't have to be on you all the time. They don't care if they please you. I could leave for days on end and as long as the food and water held out, they wouldn't miss me a bit. I can appreciate that.

I believe that people who flat out hate cats have something to hide...and they are scared that the cats are on to them. Bad people don't like to be around intuitive people, for fear of being found out. Cats are amazing judges of character. Dogs love everyone...even people who abuse them. Cats are far more selective.

This theory has panned out for me on more than one occasion.

"Good Twin/Evil Twin" was a cat-hater.

We should have listened to the cats.

Laundry Day

2010-08-18T06:13:00.000-07:00

I believe that everyone is broken in some way. We walk around with open wounds that haven't fully healed. I believe that most people hide from the pain...we put on our happiest faces and pretend the pain doesn't exist.

A few posts ago I said that I suck at suffering. It's true. I refuse to suffer if I don't have to. I also said that talking helps.

I'm so sick of being at odds with my emotions, so I guess it's time to talk.

As I write this, I have unresolved feelings about a certain person in my life. Over a year ago, my family was betrayed by a man whom we had known and loved like a brother for 20+ years. A large sum of money was stolen. But if you believe my wounds are because of money, I have some beach front property in Arizona to sell you! It's not about the money...never has been. Money means nothing to me. When you have it life is easy...when you don't life is harder, that's pretty much how money figures into my grand scheme of life.

I wish he had only stolen money. What he stole from me is much harder to earn, much harder to replace. He stole my trust.

From the moment he entered my life at 15, I based many of my opinions on his counsel. Kudos from him made me feel like a million bucks. When he took the time to check in with me I felt so important. He was a respected and almost revered part of my family. I was proud to know him.

I don't know the man he became...he is a complete stranger. It's almost as if two very distinct and separate personalities inhabit the same body...good twin and evil twin.

I have been taught to never judge anyone, that's God's job. I have been taught to forgive those who wrong me...always. I firmly believe in those teachings, and I am trying.

I can't judge him for his bad decisions...I've made several of those myself. I don't know what was going on in his mind at the time...I probably never will.

Forgiveness for the lies...that's gonna take some time. I'm not a hundered percent positive I can fully forgive...but like I said, I'm trying. I hope that if I keep at it, I will eventually work it out.

So, we've established that my dilemma doesn't stem from the loss of money, money comes and goes. It doesn't even stem from the uncertainty of whether I can forgive or not.

For months, I refused to see him or talk to him or even talk about him...but now, I miss him...I mean, the person he used to be. That's my dilemma.

I don't know if he is still the criminal or if he has changed back into the kind, honest man I once knew. I believe that the "good twin" is still there somewhere. I believe that the "good twin" feels remorse and sadness. Do I reach out to him? Do I befriend him again? Sometimes I feel like the "good twin" needs a friend.

I turn the questions over and over...what to do...what to do? There seems to be no concrete answer. I really hate that.

No one ever said that getting your laundry clean was easy...but I am trying.

2010-08-17T06:18:00.000-07:00

It's a fact...there is only one time every year that I am really, truely, blissfully, sublimely happy. That would be Fall. The rest of the year pales in comparison.
Summer and Winter are too harsh...too unforgiving. Too much. You are very likely to get a sunburn during the Summer months. You are equally as likely to get a nasty windburn during the Winter. The brightness of Summer and Winter hurts your eyes. It's too hot. It's too cold. It's just too much of everything. I don't fully trust people whose favorite seasons are Summer or Winter...I feel like they enjoy suffering.
Spring is OK...a tad bit unpredictable, but generally well recieved in my house. I don't have any strong feelings one way or the other about Spring.
But Fall...Sweet, Sweet Fall! All year long, I feel like if I can just make it back to Fall's loving arms, everything else will be ok. I have always felt that way.
It's true that my birthday is in October, thus strengthening my passion for Fall...but I am firmly convinced that I would love the season anyway. Fall is gentle. Soft. The temperatures are soothing, not too hot, not too cold but just right. The light shimmers, it doesn't assult the eyes. Even the trees bring out their Sunday best for fall. The rain refreshes. The air is crisp, not heavy. It is the most perfect time of year!
Nothing bad has ever happened to me during the Fall.
That, of course, is a lie.
For every bad thing that has ever happened to me, I will be able to tell you the corresponding season.
1996-Winter AND Spring
2006-Spring
2009-Spring AND Summer
1987-Summer
2007-Spring
You get the idea.
But when it comes to Fall, it'll take me a few minutes to remember the bad things. In fact, bad things have happened to me in the Fall...the worst things. The most devastating things. My Dad died in the fall. And on the flip side, some of the most important things have happened in the dead of Winter...I got married in December. My amazing daughter was born in December.
Clearly, I have no rational reason for loving fall the way i do...i just do. I think everyone has their favorite time of year...and are as irrational about it as I am.
I think that's what is so awesome about human beings. We are resiliant. We know that if we can just hang in there until a certain time or event...everything will be better. That's not true of course, but we need hope to drive us forward. Hope that things will be better.
I always get depressed at the end of summer. I don't know why.
If I can just hang on til September...everything will be ok.

I'm Sad...

2010-08-16T06:13:00.000-07:00

The bitch of depression is that it creeps up on you! It comes on so slowly that by the time you realize that something is wrong, you are firmly in its strangle hold.
It retrospect, I guess I should have seen the signs...they were all there. I wake up tired, I go to bed and I can't sleep. Looking in the mirror is a nightmare, but I can't seem to force myself to do the things that make me feel better about that image. I bathe constantly. I eat too much. I drink too much...the list goes on and on.
I thought I was suffering in silence. I was wrong. This morning, my husband very gently informed me that he missed snuggling with me. I guess I've been isolating as well. I suck at suffering!
So...what do I do about this? I cannot, for the life of me, figure out what's been going on. What lead me to the downward spiral this time? That's the other crappy thing about being depressed...sometimes there is no reason. It just happens.
I guess that's a lie. I DO know what's been bothering me. Events long since passed are finally having their impact on me emotionally. Like the shock of it all is finally starting to dissapate and the reality is sinking in. Do I address those issues here? I've always hated it when people air their dirty laundry in a public way, it seems tacky. But obviously bottling it up is doing me no good either. So I guess I'll spill it, because talking helps.

Confessions of a Scale Addict

2010-08-14T05:54:00.000-07:00

My entire day lives or dies on what my scale tells me. Sound familiar? I think this is true for most women, so Im pretty sure I'm not the first person to utter these words.
Almost 4 years ago, I stepped on the scale for the first time in months. Maybe years..And surprise surprise, I realized I needed to lose at least 40 pounds! I mean I had suspected for a long time, but the scale removed all doubt or denial. Damn scale!
I felt hopeless! Should I try to lose it or should I go in the other direction? You know what I mean...because we've all been there...losing weight is hard and not much fun...gaining weight is easy and can be a lot of fun. I decided to lose it...and that's when my very unhealthy, co-dependant relationship with the scale began.
Sometime, in those first few months of "The Diet", I read that people who weigh themselves often have a better chance of keeping the weight off...I think it was Reader's Digest who planted this dark little seed. I'm pretty sure they meant that you should weigh yourself every few days...ever the girl of extremes, Alese has to take it one step farther! Of course, because you know, I just wouldn't be me if I didn't go completely overboard. I decided to "weigh in" Every. Single. Day.
OK...maybe a little excessive but not certifiable insanity yet. Things went well. For years. I lost the 40 pounds. I even lost 50. It felt sooooo good. The same way Heroine feels good. I began "chasing the dragon". It's a drug term. Simply put it means that nothing compares to, nothing feels as good as, that first high and so you are constantly chasing after it. That's how addicts are born. To the best of my knowledge, I've never done Heroine...but I have done Scale. As in, "Hi. My name is Alese and I'm a Scale addict."
Soon, weighing in once a day wasn't enough. If once was good, twice was even better. Once after I first went to the bathroom, and then again a few hours later after I had sweated on the Tread climber for an hour and gone to the bathroom again. 2 pounds difference at least! Awesome!
Then the numbers on the scale began to be low enough that I couldn't believe they were right. I mean they couldn't possibly be right. Convinced that the batteries were dying, I got new batteries. Same low numbers. No Effing way! That's when I began to drag my family members into my addiction. I'd grab a cat and step on the scale. Low numbers turned into high numbers because my cats are lazy and fat! Put the cat down and step on the scale...low numbers again. what a relief! But wait! There's more! I would repeat this process 4 or 5 times! What is wrong with me?
Maybe a certain amount of denial. I didn't think I would ever be thin again and when I finally was I didn't believe it. Because when I look in the mirror I see a monster. A side effect of having once been not just overweight, but morbidly obese (that's a different blog entirely, maybe some day I'll get to it).
I've been chasing the dragon for a year and a half now. It's becoming detrimental to my emotional health! I gained some weight after Christmas...everyone does it. I nearly had an emotional breakdown. watching those numbers bounce up and down panicked me!! It still panics me...because the weight is still not gone.
In my typical all or nothing approach to life I tried starving them off...no good. Starving is just not conducive to weight loss. I tried eating healthlfully and sensibly...no good. I ended up over eating (over eating isn't conducive to weight loss). I just can't seem to find my groove (Beware the Groove!) and I'm freaking out! If I can't find my groove does that mean I'll get really fat again? I lose sleep trying to answer this question (lack of sleep isn't conducive to weight loss btw).
Everyone tells me that I should be focusing on how my clothes fit and how I feel physically. I've tried that, my size stays the same despite the weight gain. That's good. Right? Yes, but not good enough, because in the back of my mind I hear the scale. It cheers me on. It taunts me. I just can't let go. I've tried hiding it...but i KNOW where I've hidden it and it doesn't stay hidden for more than a day and then I'm back at it.
In the scales defense (I'm defending the thing that makes me feel bad about myself, that's just how co-dependant we are!), it doesn't matter what it tells me anymore. If it shows me a lower number I start to worry about the next days weigh in, thinking about all of the ways I slipped up. If it shows me a high number, I'm inconsolable for the rest of the day. Damned if it does...damned if it doesn't.
So...very long story, short, I tried to break my addiction this last week. I weighed myself on Saturday, Monday and Wednesday...thinking that if I wasn't so stressed about what the scale said I could focus on eating healthfully and exercising. I gained 3 pounds :( WTF scale!
The point of all my rambling is that, rationally I know i am more than a number on the scale. I have an amazing life, why isn't that enough? Why do I feel like the only way I'll be a worthwhile person is if I'm skinny and cute? These are the questions I am examining right now...I'll keep you posted.
I guess the one good thing is that every day I start over...I never give up! "Hi. My name is Alese and I'm a scale addict."

I'm Back!

2010-08-11T06:16:00.000-07:00

Confession:
I started a blog because I really enjoy reading other people's blogs. It's a lot like watching T.V.-the pictures are colorful, the situations are relateable, and everything ends on a happy note.
Confession:
I know that real life isn't like that and I know that a lot of bloggers avoid the grittiness (i.e. interesting) of real life and focus only on the squeaky clean (i.e. boring). That is sooooo not me! To pretend that my life is always sunny and bright in my blog just felt dishonest somehow.
Confession:
A lot of bad things happened during 2009 and I felt like I couldn't express them here because I thought that blogs were happy places.
Don't worry...I'm not going to rehash all of the gory details of 2009, BUT i have resolved to be more real. If a blog is an online journal then everything should go into it...the good, the bad and the ugly. I've read a blog or two recently that do just that and they sort of inspired me to give it one more try...MY WAY! We'll see how it goes.

Birthdays and Bullys

2009-03-12T12:49:00.000-07:00

It has been so long since I lasted posted! Despite Kim feeding me post ideas (thanks btw Kimbo) I just haven't had it in me. But now I have a real moral dilemma and I'm hoping that by writing about it I will trust I have made the right decision.
My baby is sooooo popular!!! Yes that actually is my problem...in a way. Everyone is popular in Kindergarten. Everybody loves everybody! Ahhh don't you wish it would just stay that way? I swear I will not know what to do if (or should I say when) Bella gets bullied, cuz we all get if from time to time. Allow me to apologize in advance to the children who bully her, and their parents. Actually, I did mean to beat up your child, I don't take it back, but I'm sorry I left so many bruises! There that's out of the way! But now I've distracted myself. My problem is not bullying in the schools. Here's my problem. Bella was invited to 2 birthday parties on the same day at the same time!! Girl number one got her invites out 2 days before the other, but girl number two came to Bella's birthday party, and girl number one didn't. Bella will be so sad to miss either one, but she can't do both because Shane and I will be at work and can't be running her around town. So after thinking about it I've decided to send her to girl number two's party but get both girls a gift. Also, I have to admit, I'm afraid that girl number two won't have that many people show up because her invites weren't out first. I think I made the right choice. Didn't I? It became so complicated when Bella gained a social circle. Can't wait till middle school where everybody hates everybody! Big sigh...

Yarn Is So CREEPY!

2009-01-13T17:38:00.000-08:00

Kim tagged me. I'm supposed to name 6 quirky things about myself. I think this is really hard! I've been the Mayor of Quirkopolis pretty much my whole life and that seems normal to me. Other people would probably have a hard time stopping at 6 quirky things about me! Let's give this a try.
1. I am deathly afraid of balloons! But worse than balloons is YARN!!!!!!! It is so creepy. I cannot stress that enough!
2. I think the devil created cranberries specifically with me in mind.
3. I have a huge bald spot on the back of my head. A memento from one of my many hospital stays!
4. I love Dolly Parton! Seriously, the woman can do no wrong!
5. I hate to drive anywhere outside of Sanpete. White knuckles, sweaty palms, screaming, the whole bit. Sort of like that scene from the movie Clueless where Dion accidentally got on the freeway, that's me.
6. Everyone thought I was going to be really tall when I grew up. I have been 5" 2" since I was 9 or 10 years old.
Well, that actually wasn't so bad, like I said, narrowing it down was the hard part.

353 Days

2009-01-06T16:45:00.000-08:00

For the most part our calender is extremely mellow. Other than the occasional birthday or crazy weekend, the Petersen household is a very laid back place to be. We have it planned that way, we don't entertain at home and we rarely go out. We have 2 wild days in October (my birthday and Halloween, the 2 greatest days of the year!) but our December is chaos!
I know, I know, "EVERYONE is crazy in December", you say. And that is so true what with family get-togethers, work parties and school functions. It's no wonder people get depressed at that time of year. I think my December is just slightly more crazy than most. Call it bad planning on our part!
Let me take you on a tour of December 21 through December 31 at the Petersen's.

December 21: Shane and Alese's Anniversary. Not a huge deal, but I do like to celebrate it.

December 22-23: Getting ready for Christmas. We all know how this goes. Quite frankly it's a bit of a blur sometimes. There's baking, cooking, cleaning, wrapping, scolding, threatening, weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth.

December 24: Christmas Eve and Schianne's birthday. More celebrating. Lot's of unwrapping. Extended weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth.

December 25: Christmas Day. This is the most mellow day of the week surprisingly!

December 26: Typically we have Shane's kids either coming or going. If they're coming it's more unwrapping. They usually hate what they got and so the weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth (henceforth known as WWGOT) continues. Ah, the sweet sounds of Christmas!

December 27-28: Presents trickle in. Late Christmas /Early Birthday. WWGOT!

December 29: Bella's birthday. MORE PRESENTS! Very little WWGOT, she just loves being the center of attention!

December 30: We call this Birthday Part 2: The Sequel. We take Bella to a movie or out to dinner or something like that.

December 31: New Year's Eve. General Lawlessness and Drunken Disorderly Conduct! Ha Ha I wish! Bed by 9:00 PM Happy New Year! I'm Freakin' Tired!!
This year, with the advent of Kindergarten and the addition of tons of new friends, we have added one more day to the mix. We call it :
January 6: Birthday Version 2.0! Since Bella's birthday will always be during Christmas Vacation she gets her un-birthday after they go back. We have Bella's special day spotlight(I have to make a poster), cupcakes all around(I ordered those!) and after school, (what else?) a birthday party! This year we had a tea party and (I must be insane) I let them use my china to eat off of! It's all ok though, no casualties, the china made it and so did I!
It's been fun and crazy and I don't think I'd change it, but boy am I glad when it's all over!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Christmas Tag (this is one tag i can do)

2008-12-22T16:44:00.000-08:00

Kim tagged me, which is good cuz I had been searching for something to write about. Here goes.
1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Depends on the size and awkwardness of the item to be wrapped.
2. Real tree or artificial? Artificial, I'm allergic to real.
3. When do you put up your tree? When the mood strikes me, this year it was pretty early (December 2) but never never in November!
4. When do you take your tree down? Again, when the mood strikes me. The year Bella was born, it stayed up until February.
5. Do you like eggnog? Eggnog no, the rum you put in it YES! Just kidding, I don't like eggnog but I do love eggnog french toast.
6. Favorite gift received as a child? My barbie dream house totally! and my barbie camper, Jamey and I had so much fun with that thing!
7. Hardest person to buy for? My oldest sister Andrea, she is super picky and she already has everything.
8. Easiest person to buy for? Myself? Bella and Kim are pretty easy too.
9. Do you have a nativity? Yes 4 of them.
10. Mail or email Christmas cards? I don't do either.
11. Worst Christmas gift ever received? Can't think of one I truely hated. I had to start giving Shane lists if I wanted to get stuff I liked, but it is the thought that counts. I really mean that too!
12. Favorite Christmas movie? Hard one! A Christmas Story, Christmas Vacation, and The Nightmare before Christmas (Yes, it is a Christmas movie FYI!)
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? Usually about the middle of December.
14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? I don't think so. If I don't like a gift I throw it away I don't give it away.
15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? All of it! I am a total slave to stuffing, though!
16. Lights on the tree? White.
17. Favorite Christmas song? O Holy Night. It reminds me of my mom and I ALWAYS cry when I hear it. Shane loves to change the words to songs and make them silly or dirty or whatever, but I told him if he ever does that to O holy Night I was filing for divorce.
18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Stay home for sure! For 4th of July, Valentines Day, Arbor Day, oh hell, EVERYDAY!
19. Can you name all of santa's Reindeer? Duh! Who can't?
20. Angel or star on top of the tree? Star.
21. Open presents Christmas Eve or Christmas day? Both! I prefer to open presents everyday of the year but that almost never happens!
22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? I hate how it starts the day after Halloween. Come on People give us a chance to properly mourn the passing of All Hallow's Eve!
23. Favorite ornament theme or color? Just my ornaments from when I was a kid and the new ones I add for my kids every year.
24. Favorite Christmas dinner menu? Prime Rib, funeral potatoes, stuffing, corn and Mom's world class Pumpkin Chiffon Pie!
25. What do you want for Christmas this year? Books and I know I'm getting them cuz I ordered them!
26. Who is tagged? No one I guess this wore me out!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Did I Happen To Mention...

2008-12-06T08:06:00.000-08:00

I think I mentioned before, that, just recently, we moved back to Ephraim from Manti (living in Manti is a dark spot in my life and an entire post all it's own). But did I happen to mention how much I love my house? I LOVE MY HOUSE!!!!
I love my house. I mean, duh, we bought it. That's a pretty big commitment to make about something you only have lukewarm feelings for. Shane (and sometimes Alese) spent 10 weeks painting, sanding, varnishing and other assorted "ing's". It's not done, I suspect it never will be, but as big a project as it has turned out to and continues to be, I can't begin to tell you how crazy I am about this pile of bricks! I mean it's just a house, right? It shouldn't evoke such stong emotions the way it does. It's a roof and walls. It's over 150 years old, none of the rooms are perfectly square and it makes funny noises at night. But I have to say, I am in love!
Our original plan was to build a house. Sounds pretty simple, right? We even went as far as buying the land (it's for sale now, anyone interested in buying a chunk of the
American dream?). Then at the begining of this year construction prices began to soar and banks started getting jittery about giving money away. Since we pay so much in child support and alimony, and since I was honest with the bank about all of that (thanks a lot Honesty!), we soon realized that building would be next to impossible for several years (until child support and alimony are done basically). I HAD to get out of Manti. So, completely demoralized and devestated, we began to assemble Plan B. Buying a house. Turns out it's a lot easier to get a home loan than it is to get a construction loan. I started scanning the internet for houses in Ephraim within our price range. Some interesting prospects, but nothing that really felt right. Then our house came up for sale. I know this house. My mom used to live next door, which means so did I. It's my old neighborhood. We called that night. Walked through it the next day and 15 days later we owned it! 2 and a half years of planning to build resulted in nothing! 2 and a half weeks of planning to buy resulted in finally bringing me home.
I could never get a good feeling about building. It sounded fun and I wanted it bad, but it always felt so out of reach. The second we set foot in this house it felt like home. Fate is funny like that sometimes.
It's a great feeling. One that everyone should experience at least once in their lifetime. Now if you will excuse me I have to go clean my house! Until next time...
P.S. I LOVE MY HOUSE!

I Hate Christmas?

2008-11-27T14:46:00.000-08:00

I am a bona fide Christmas hater! That's what I always tell my friends anyway, but dammit if something doesn't happen that puts me in the holiday spirit anyway. Without fail.
I used to really love Christmas, no grinchiness at all, but then my sisters and brothers started getting married and having families of their own. Every youngest of every family knows what I'm talking about! Your sibs start having in-laws that want some time too, so every other year they go there, then they start having kids and want to recreate some of the magic for them...so they stop coming completely. After a while I was left with just my mom, which was great, but not the same. I came to dread Christmas. There was no more breathless anticipation, no more magic.
I didn't understand that when you have children of your own you get your childhood back in many ways. I was 28 when my Bella was born and I finally learned that lesson. Like I said it still takes some coaxing, though.
This year Kim put some Christmas songs on her playlist. REALLY GOOD Christmas songs. Songs that reminded me of my mom and songs that reminded me of a really sad Christmas right after my dad died. I cried, of course (I usually cry while reading Kim's blog, in fact, it's my go to if I need inspiration to cry). And suddenly found myself in the Christmas spirit, funny how that happens.
I still hate Christmas! It takes away all of my edge!

I Got Nothin'

2008-11-22T07:01:00.000-08:00

Kim photo tagged me. What the french, toast? I don't have folders. I don't have photos. If someone were to look at Bella's baby book, they would be convinced that she died the day after her first birthday. I got nothin'! Sorry, kimbo, I know I'm a major disappointment, but I am adopted after all. It's no wonder people are so shocked when they find out we are sisters. But why the shock people, weren't Jesus and Satan related too?
Hope everyone is gearing up for Thanksgiving! I know I am (not really). I don't even really consider it a holiday, unless one thinks it's a good thing to invade native American's lands and then proceed to cheat them out of it. I don't. But I have the day off and it's a great excuse to make awesome food and eat without remorse for a change, so I'll celebrate that instead. I am thankful for Thanksgiving (not really). My brothers and sisters are going to Wyoming, I, however, am not. Ever the rebel! I am not used to traveling for the holidays, we didn't often when I was a kid, and I don't like it. Neither does Shane (I swear we were MFEO) so we are always telling his family no for every holiday. To keep things fair we have to tell my family no a lot too. But that's ok with me cuz my mom really pounded into my head the importance of creating your own traditions and memories. But just for the record, I LOVE LOVE LOVE my brothers and sisters!
Shane's parents get the last laugh this year though, because the Monday after Thanksgiving they are leaving for their mission in Tucson, Arizona (that's awesome btw, I LOVE LOVE LOVE Tucson) which means they have their little farewell in church on Sunday. So they are dragging me from my home on a holiday weekend AND I have to go to church. Double whammy! And it's family picture day! Triple whammy!! That's gonna be a dark day in the Petersen household, I might need therapy later. One good thing does come from this though, we will get to visit them in Tucson at some point so I guess they can be forgiven.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE! Hope everyone who is traveling does so safely, and I hope I don't injure myself while belly flopping into the Pumpkin Chiffon pie!

MP3 Mania

2008-11-11T16:30:00.000-08:00

My sister just sent me a scathing e-mail. "Why aren't you blogging?" I have slacked off a lot, but for good reason. I got a new MP3 player for my birthday (a totally adorable pink Zune a long with tons of other great presents, it was a bountiful birthday) and I have been busy filling it with songs. I had to start from scratch cuz for some reason my itunes account wouldn't just let me transfer it. I'm not really computer savvy, I don't know why it wouldn't, maybe it's not even supposed to. Needless to say I have spent days ripping and syncing ripping and syncing ripping and syncing. It's been sort of a drag but it will all be worth it when it's done. And since I can only really focus on one thing at a time, my blog has suffered. All of that and I have a hard time finding stuff to say. My life is pretty boring, in the best possible way, but I just can't imagine that it would be interesting to someone other than myself. I work, I clean my house, I yell at my kids, pretty standard stuff. But I'll be better I promise.
I am completely bummed that Halloween is over btw, now there isn't anything to look forward to until next Halloween. Somehow I must find a way to go on.
Until next time!

Dolly Does Depeche?

2008-10-31T09:40:00.000-07:00

I'm sure it's been noted that I've added a Dolly Parton song to my playlist. Don't worry I haven't been converted to country! It's a song I remember very fondly from my childhood. I'm sure my sisters and brothers don't remember it quite so fondly, I must have listened to it at least 800 times a day. I have never gotten sick of it, never will. It gives me a particular thrill when I hear my 5 year old belting it out at the top of her lungs! The legacy lives on! On that note, Andrea, Kim, Jamey and Reuel this one's for you! I think Depeche Mode would understand!

PS HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYBODY!

What Have I Gotten Myself Into?

2008-10-30T07:53:00.000-07:00

My sister sort of bullied me into starting this blog (ha ha just kidding Kim)! But what the heck, I'm sort of entering what I consider to be a new phase in my life, might as well document it. I am the world's worst journal keeper/correspondant, I have been known to completely disappear from my family's radar for weeks, even months at a time, so I hope I can keep this updated. We'll see how it goes.
During the course of a few short months my life has made a ninty turn, not quite 180 cuz much of it's the same. We just moved into a Old/New To Us house, my baby started Kindergarten and I quit one of my two jobs. So now I stay home 2 days a week. I like it, which shocks me. A month ago if I had been asked if I wanted to be a stay at home mom the answer would have been a resounding NO! But I can handle 2 days especially when Bella is in school for 2 and a half hours of it. I still work at Pollies about 30 hours a week but I find it more relaxing than being at home. Don't get me wrong, I like being home and I get a lot done but it is hard work, and there's always something I feel like I should do. A far cry from my former life as a professional couch potato, wouldn't you say Kimbo? Needless to say, I don't know how full timers do it! My hats off to ya, ladies!
I'm excited and happy about the changes in my life. I feel like I'm living a dream, now that the bitter, cold exile in Manti is over. I really am a lucky girl!